On the road to Baby H, Confessions: baby stuff

Do you think I'm odd that I troll pregnancy forums and websites? I have hundreds of bookmarks on my computer of baby blogs, gear lists, nursery blog posts, parenting blogs, etc. I love reading blogs about pregnancy and babies. I even have a registry! Eeek! I haven't told anyone that, before. Am I a glutton for punishment???

I know. I know. I've heard. I've been told it's not quite the thing and that it will make me crazy. I've talked to women online who do/have done similar things, and they've all said they've eventually come to the realization that it's unhealthy. I disagree. Only for myself, for ME personally. I'm not there yet for a couple reasons.

1) I take care of babies. It's my job. I play with baby toys, change babies, use baby products and in some cases buy baby gear, toys, formula, food, etc for my daycare. So, I can't just pretend they don't exist.

2) I feel like I look at these websites and forums and registry items with hope. I feel like if I told myself that I CAN'T look at, plan, dream, design, build my future baby's life, nursery, first year, inutero time, etc. then I would lose the hope that it CAN still happen. I would lose that belief that my deepest wish WILL come true. Sort of like, "If you build it, they will come". (I love me some Kevin Costner movies; Field of Dreams, 1989)

3) I like to know what is out there so when I AM with child I can feel confident in my choices, because I've done my research.

4) It takes me and my DH sooooo long to make decisions, and especially put those decisions into action that by making decisions, researching items, saving for the nursery/baby items/etc. I feel like I have a head start for when the baby comes. Plus, I am so scared I'm going to be one of those women who ends up on the TLC show I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant.

Anyway, so there is my confession. do you think it's abnormal? Do you think it's too much pressure? Do you feel like it would stress you out to have to look at or read information about pregnancy, other women's pregnancies, registries or baby items? Would you or do you do this? Just curious if I'm the only one!